


Long Weekend

by badbisexualrepresentation



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Attempted Sexual Assault, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Omega Dean Winchester, Some Plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:54:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badbisexualrepresentation/pseuds/badbisexualrepresentation
Summary: “But you’re not--” Cas leaned forward and sniffed again. That scent… Cas wanted to roll around in it, bathe in it, liquidize and drink it down until he choked on it. Stop. Stop smelling him, something was wrong, the very tiny rational part of his brain supplied. Dean's heat wasn’t due for at least another month, what was…?Cas eyed the empty whiskey glass on the table and snatched it, holding it to his nose and breathing deeply before looking around the bar, fire in his eyes.“I think there was something in your drink,” Cas seethed.--An unsuspected heat brings some shocking revelations (and a few overdue confessions).
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 229





	1. Chapter 1

Dean tilted his head back as he drained the last of his beer. The lights of The Roadhouse shone against the bottle and the golden tips of his hair, and his throat flexed gently as he swallowed. As he guided his head back down and the bottle back to the table, a dribble of beer rolled down the side of his mouth and he swiped at it mindlessly with the back of his hand. He glanced up to find Cas staring, eyebrows raised, and shot Cas a sheepish smile. 

It was inevitable, Cas thought, to be in love with him.

It was rare for the two of them to go out alone together. Normally when they went out, it was among their friends, where Dean could shine and Cas could fade into the background, happy to watch him from afar. Dean was a light-- people, alphas, betas, and omegas alike, gravitated towards him like moths, drawn to his beauty, his scent, his charm. Everyone saw him, and everyone loved him.

It was Cas who had the privilege of quiet moments with him, together in their apartment. Saw him sleepy in the mornings, sitting quietly over a cup of coffee, asleep on the couch after a long day. It was strange, they knew, for an unmated alpha and omega to be living together, but neither of them cared. They had always been freakishly close for an unmated pair, but any comments on their situation or their closeness were always met with a joke from Dean and a knowing smirk in Cas’s direction, which he always met with a knowing smile of his own.

Their friends knew about Cas’s feelings, of course. Cas was obvious, even though he tried desperately not to be. More than once Jo or Charlie or even Gabe had made a passing comment or, on rare occasions, encouraged him to make a move. But Cas knew better. Dean was spewing with confidence and could have anyone he wanted; why would he ever choose Cas, his pale, awkward, best friend, who he’d had a million different opportunities to make a move on? No, Dean wasn’t interested, and Cas wasn’t about to ruin their friendship over his infatuation. The little bit that he and Dean could be together was enough for him. It was enough to love him from afar, to do what he could to take care of him and accept only Dean’s thanks and smiles in return. Cas would take what he could get from Dean, and it was enough.

Cas took care of Dean in whatever way he could. He was almost irrationally compelled to do so, whether by some repressed alpha instinct or his romantic obsession he wasn’t sure. Dean usually accepted it with grace and didn’t linger on it, didn’t make Cas feel embarrassed for fretting after him 24/7.

The line, as it always has been, were his heats. Cas was kicked unceremoniously out of the apartment to his brother Gabriel’s place across the city as Dean suffered alone. Cas would never presume he wanted his… help. He knew better. Heats were special, times of extreme vulnerability that non-committed alphas were rarely granted the pleasure to experience.

But whenever he would return a few days later Dean was starved, dehydrated, and exhausted, with purple bags under his eyes and always a few pounds lighter, and he refused Cas’s help to improve his condition until over a week had passed and things had largely returned to normal on their own.

Charlie, somewhere along the way, had been chosen as Dean’s post-heat assistance, and Dean would never let Cas anywhere near him, and no one stayed during the event itself. Cas would return to a sickly Dean and a house smelling of cheap, citrus-y cleaner, the rare occasion when their apartment would be spotless. It broke his heart every three months, but he respected Dean’s boundary.

There was once, when Cas knew Dean’s heat was coming, that he cooked a large batch of Dean’s favorite soup and left it in the fridge, encouraging Dean to eat it over the coming days. Dean had given him a tight-lipped smile and offered his thanks before slinking into his room. When Cas had returned after receiving the clear from Charlie, the entire pot had gone untouched. Cas had thrown it away and not tried again.

Still, there had been times in the past, when Dean’s gaze would linger on him for a moment too long, where a hand placed platonically on his shoulder would squeeze, where Cas allowed himself to think… maybe. But then the moment would pass, Dean’s attention would move on.

Everyone knew how Cas felt. Everyone, it seemed, except Dean.

Most of their nights in together were spent in sweatpants with half eaten boxes of pizza playing video games, which Cas _swears_ he isn’t invested in and only plays because he knows Dean likes them (which Dean knows to be patently false). But Dean had been antsy tonight and eager to go out, to wash away another stressful Thursday of work and classes before a blissfully empty weekend. So here they were at the Roadhouse, just the two of them, as Cas took every opportunity to enjoy Dean’s undivided attention. He attracted the same kinds of attention that he always did, but his focus was entirely on Cas… well, and his food.

Dean polished off his burger and released a low hum, sucking his fingers into his mouth.

“What do you think, Cas? Another beer?”

Cas ripped his eyes away from where they’d been transfixed on Dean’s fingers.

“Hmm? No, I’m ok I think,” he replied, dropping his gaze to the table.

“You sure? I’m grabbing another,” Dean’s eyebrows raised.

“No, go ahead.”

Dean crawled his way out of the booth and over to the bar, and Cas made every effort to not watch him as he left. He pulled out his phone-- one text from Sam asking why Dean wasn’t answering, another from Meg asking when they were hanging out next. He shot Sam a reply that Dean’s phone was dead at home and buried himself in the screen.

He’s already found himself three paragraphs deep in an obscure Wikipedia article before he noticed how long Dean had been gone.

He glanced up at the bar to see him cornered by an alpha at the bar. Dean didn’t date alphas, Cas knew (knew the fact itself if not the reason behind it; just another reason he knew they’d never end up together), but that never stopped him from welcoming the attention. Cas swallowed and looked away. Whoever Dean wanted to flirt with was his business, and Cas couldn’t do anything about it.

Still, only a few moments later his eyes wandered back to the bar where the alpha was leaning over Dean, Dean curved backwards as he avoided all contact. Dean cut his eyes over to him. He was up out of the booth before he was aware of what he was doing. As he approached, he watched Dean place a delicate hand on the alpha’s chest and forcibly push him back, his white teeth flashing in a grin.

“Hiya, Cas,” he offered as greeting, not taking his eyes off the alpha.

“Everything ok over here?”

The other alpha glanced over at Cas. Tall, older than both of them.

“That’s funny, you told me you didn’t date alphas,” he sneered.

“I don’t,” Dean replied. “Now if you’ll excuse us.”

He snagged his drink from the bar and stood to leave when the alpha offered a chuckle. Cas glowered at him from behind Dean.

“Just you wait, beautiful. You’ll be back to me before the end of the night,”

Dean snorted. “I’m sure I won’t.”

They made their way back to the table, Cas putting all his effort into controlling his raging heartbeat. This happened fairly often when they went out together, but it never failed to upset him far more than he cared to admit. Dean could take care of himself, he knew, and preferred to most of the time. Maybe he’d be mad at Cas for stepping in, angry that Cas had assumed he couldn’t handle the situation on his own.

He was broken out of his thoughts when Dean spoke.

“Thanks for that, by the way.” He said sheepishly, glancing down at his drink. Whiskey, now. Usually only when he was stressed. Had it been the alpha?

“Oh. Of course,” He tried not to shine at the praise, but he knew he was doing a poor job of hiding his pride.

“Guy was creeping me out” Dean muttered, taking the first sip of his drink.

They ordered pie, as they always did at the Roadhouse. They awaited its arrival in companionable silence before Cas spoke.

“Sam wants you to check your phone when you get back. Apparently some great Star Wars meme he sent you, he was mad you didn’t reply immediately”

Dean smiled and huffed a laugh. God, his smile. “Well I look forward to it when we get home,” he said, taking another sip of his drink.

Time passed and Dean began to shift uncomfortably in his seat, pulling at his t-shirt at his front.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, just hot in here I guess. And somehow I’m still hungry.”

Cas frowned. It was the middle of March in the Midwest and Dean had complained about how cold it was in the restaurant not thirty minutes ago.

“Are you getting sick?”

Dean looked poised to respond when the waitress arrived with the pie. However sick Dean may be feeling, his eyes lit up and he dug in ferociously the minute the plate hit the table. Cas smirked, but didn’t press him.

A few bites in and Dean offered a deep moan.

Now it was Cas shifting uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes trained on his own plate so as to not look at Dean when he made that sound, heart beginning to thump in his ears.

A moment passed and it happened again, somewhat higher and more… desperate? Dean was always one to appreciate his food, but this was out of hand. Omegas really couldn’t go around moaning orgasmically at their food in public, especially in a restaurant filled with horny alphas. Particularly when one horny alpha was sitting across from him at the table. Cas glanced around as he adjusted his pants, trying desperately not to draw attention to either of them and refusing to look up at Dean, huffing quietly down at his plate.

When his fork clattered loudly on his plate and Dean practically keened, Cas set his own fork down and looked up in exasperation, only to freeze at the look on Dean’s face.

“Dean? Are you ok?”

His pie sat almost untouched on his plate, and he was flushed seemingly from head to toe. Sweat had begun to gather at the collar of his t-shirt, and he was bent over with a hand pressed firmly to his stomach.

“Uh… Cas? I think I’m… uh,” a blushed bloomed on his already pink face and he shifted in his seat again, his hands moving to press… lower. His shoulders tensed and drew together.

Cas’s brain flatlined for a moment as he watched a bead of sweat roll down Dean’s neck. He wanted to reach out and clean it with his tongue before he realized what Dean had said.

“Oh, you’re…” Cas leaned forward and sniffed the air as a blush grew on his own face. “ _Oh_.”

“Yeah, um…” Dean kept his eyes firmly on the table.

“But you’re not--” Cas leaned forward and sniffed again. God, Cas had never smelled Dean in heat before, only what he could catch under those god-awful cleaners, which he definitely hadn’t ever tried to do on purpose. That scent… Cas wanted to roll around in it, bathe in it, liquidize and drink it down until he choked on it. _Stop. Stop smelling him, something was wrong,_ the very tiny rational part of his brain supplied. Dean wasn’t due for at least another month, what was…?

Cas eyed the empty whiskey glass on the table and snatched it, holding it to his nose and breathing deeply before looking around the bar, fire in his eyes.

“I think there was something in your drink,” Cas seethed.

“…Oh,” was all Dean replied, increasingly glassy eyes still set firmly on the table.

Cas waived the waitress over to the table frantically, explaining the situation before dropping a couple twenties and standing up. Dean’s scent was getting stronger and a few curious glances were beginning to make their way to them. The alpha in question was nowhere in sight.

“Dean, come on, we’re leaving.”

Dean was still frozen in place, his hands pressed to his crotch and his eyes boring into the empty whiskey glass. Cas leaned in and wrapped his hands gently around his shoulders, pulling him from the booth.

“Dean, I need to get you home, ok? I’m taking you home.”

Dean stood with little resistance and let himself be guided out of the restaurant and into the cold parking lot, Cas shooting heated glares at anyone who glanced in their direction. He set a fast pace as he half dragged Dean across the lot towards the Impala.

“Keys?” Cas held out his hand. It was shaking from the cold. Definitely from the cold. Dean stood still and looked at his hand before his eyes darted to Cas’s face.

“Dean, you can’t drive-- give me the keys,” Cas was never one to use his alpha voice, especially with Dean, but these were special circumstances. Dean held out the keys reluctantly before sliding into the passenger seat.

Cas resisted every urge in his body as he slid into the driver’s seat and pulled out of the lot. Whether those urges be to pull over and fuck Dean in the front seat, or to at least roll down the windows so his scent wasn’t encouraging even further, was irrelevant. He ignored them all, even the urge to turn around and beat the shit out of that tall blonde alpha, eyes boring into the road ahead, hands gripping the steering wheel tight.

Cas figured he knew what this was. These types of druggings were depressingly common-- just kickstart a heat, if nothing else. Some people even considered them harmless, or just a way to help an omega really get in the mood. As attacks on omegas went, they were on the less horrific side of the spectrum, but that didn’t mean they weren’t terrible. And Cas didn’t know the details.

He softened his voice as much as possible.

“Are you ok?”

Dean was sunk down in his seat, hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, just, uh… hot.”

He dreaded the question but knew he had to ask.

“Has this ever happened to you before?”

There was a pause before Dean answered.

“…No. It happened to Lisa and she said it was just a, um… just a normal heat for her… How they always were.” He shifted in his seat again. Dean was never this bashful, not about anything. Private, sure, but this was different. Was this worry? Was he scared?

“Ok. It’s gonna be ok, Dean, alright? It’ll be fine,” without thinking he reached over and squeezed Dean’s knee. He flinched and Cas quickly withdrew his hand.

Another moment of silence. Cas kept his eyes firmly on the road and his breathing shallow before Dean jerked forward and started fumbling around in his pockets.

“I, um… I need my phone. Do you know where my phone is?”

“You left it at home, it was dead.”

“Oh,” Dean ran a hand over his face. “Did I plug it in? Is it charging?”

Scared. Dean was scared.

“I think so, yes.” Cas’s hands tightened impossibly tighter on the wheel at the sound of Dean’s frantic breathing.

“Dean, it’ll be ok,” Cas tried desperately to reassure him. “You said it yourself, it’s just a normal heat, you’ve done it before” Cas chanced a glance in Dean’s direction, who had his gaze firmly out the window, leg bouncing, hot breath puffing onto the glass. God, he looked so small.

“Dean, I’ll take care of you, ok? It’s all gonna be fine.”

With that Dean snapped his gaze back to Castiel, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

“You’ll take care of me?” his voice was as small as he looked, hesitant and desperate.

Cas’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.“Yes, Dean, of course. I’ll take care of everything, ok? Don’t worry,” He’d need to call Charlie and Sam, let them both know what happened. Sam might even want Cas to call their parents. They were low on groceries, but he could stock up and have Charlie deliver them, make sure Dean had everything he needed. Then he’d go back to the Roadhouse and find the alpha who did this and kick his ass into oblivion.

When he looked back at Dean he saw a gaze of wonder in the low light, and Dean let out a long, slow breath before settling back into his seat.

“Ok… ok”

They rode the rest of the drive in silence before Cas pulled into their apartment complex. Cas wrapped his arms back around Dean as he got into the car, all too conscious of the sweet scent rolling off of him that could attract alphas for miles. Alphas who didn’t have the same god-given strength as Castiel. Dean leaned into the touch and pressed his body tightly against Cas, who inhaled deeply before holding his breath as much as he could as they walked inside.

They made their way quickly up the stairs and inside the front door of their apartment, when Cas released him and gave him a nudge towards his room before turning around to lock the door. 

“Ok, ok we made it home,” he breathed a sigh of relief. “Now go get set up in your room, I’ll call Sam, and---”

He was broken off by Dean pressing him up against the front door and kissing him.

It took Cas only a moment’s pause before his body responded in the only way it knew how. He wrapped his arms around him, snaking them up around his sides until one hand pressed hard against the center of his back and the other gripped the back of his neck, holding him close and controlling the kiss. As Cas gripped his hair Dean let out a high pitched moan and pressed their hips together, his soft hands lightly pressed to either side of Cas’s face. Cas released a low growl and flipped them so Dean’s back was to the door, shoving a knee between his legs and breaking the kiss to bury his nose in Dean’s neck, scenting him open mouthed. Dean’s legs spread gently as Cas rubbed his leg against the bulge in the front of his pants. He dragged his lips up his neck before connecting them again, pressing his tongue into his mouth.

“Yes, alpha,” Dean breathed against him when they broke apart.


	2. Chapter 2

_As Cas gripped his hair Dean let out a high pitched moan and pressed their hips together, his soft hands lightly pressed to either side of Cas’s face. Cas released a low growl and flipped them so Dean’s back was to the door, shoving a knee between his legs and breaking the kiss to bury his nose in Dean’s neck, scenting him open mouthed. Dean’s legs spread gently as Cas rubbed his leg against the bulge in the front of his pants. He dragged his lips up his neck before connecting them again, pressing his tongue into his mouth._

_“Yes, alpha,” Dean breathed against him when they broke apart._

The words snapped Cas out of his daze and he yanked himself back, hands on either side of Dean’s head against the door, panting heavily.

“Dean, I…” he trailed off as he saw Dean lick his lips before snapping his eyes shut. “…Fuck. _Fuck_ , I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, just, uh…” Cas battled with every instinct in his body as he ripped himself away from Dean, taking a few steps back. Dean looked up at him in confusion, his mouth open and panting. His lips were so pink. Stop looking at his lips.

Cas put a hand over his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Look, just… go to your room, build your nest, I’ll call Charlie and- and Sam, I’ll take care of everything, ok? Just give me a minute to pack a bag and then I’ll be out of your hair,” even as he said it, he was glued to the spot where he stood, making no effort to head towards his room.

Dean was still breathless when he replied.

“…What? You’re leaving?”

When Cas chanced a look at his face, Dean’s heartbreak was staring back. He snapped his eyes to the floor. Fuck. _Fuck_. He’d screwed up. He’d screwed up _bad_ and he needed to get out of here, get away from Dean’s scent before he made it even worse. But he still wasn’t moving.

“Yes. Yes, I have to leave,”

“But…” Dean’s eyes darted wildly across Cas’s face, trying to understand. “But you said you’d take care of me.” He sounded so broken.

“I _will_ , Dean, I will. I’ll… go to Gabe’s, I’ll make sure that Charlie brings you food, I’ll make sure everything’s sorted out with the bar, and you can have your… privacy, I’ll get out of your hair, ok?”

There was a long silence before Dean responded filled only with their heavy breathing. Cas still wasn’t looking at him.

“Oh… that’s not… oh.” Dean took a deep inhale, and Cas looked up just in time to see the heartbreak slide off his face and be replaced with steely determination. His cheeks were still flushed, his lips still unbearably… pink, but he looked stronger. He took another deep breath before pushing himself off the door.

“Ok.”

He turned around and pulled the handle, only able to open the door slightly before Cas was behind him again, slamming it shut with an arm over his shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Get out of the way.”

“Dean, I’ll… I’ll leave in just a second, ok? I’ll leave _now_ , but you can’t go out there, it’s not safe.”

“I have to find someone”

“I… what?” Cas still hadn’t removed his hand from the door.

“I have to find someone, I have to find _help_ , I… maybe that guy is still there, he wasn’t so bad, maybe he’s--” Dean was mumbling to himself now, but Cas heard all the same and released a feral growl before he could stop himself. Dean’s eyes snapped up to his face and Cas swallowed thickly.

“Dean you’re not thinking straight. Your heat is messing with your head. Go to your room, build your nest, and I’ll have Charlie come check on you in a bit, ok?”

Again with the alpha voice, but it seemed to be working. Dean’s eyes were still trained on the door, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth as he worried it with his teeth, obviously holding himself back from saying something.

“I need my phone,” he muttered to himself before turning on his heel back to his room. Castiel, despite getting exactly what he wanted, followed him, trailing only a few steps behind.

“Why?”

“Cas, if you’re leaving just _leave_ , ok? Or help me find my phone” Dean entered his room and started digging through the piled of clothes on his floor, searching. Cas ignored the phone he saw sitting plugged in on Dean’s nightstand, right where he’d left it.

There was no reason for Cas to be acting like this. Dean probably just wanted to watch some porn to get started, and that was none of Cas’s business. Dean was doing what Cas wanted, was holing up in his room for the next few days where he’d be safe and maybe the heat pheromones would clog his brain enough that he would forget Cas pinning him up against the wall and shoving his tongue in his mouth when he was at his most vulnerable. He should leave now, head to Gabe’s, and pray that Dean would still speak to him when he returned. As it was…

“Who are you calling, are you calling someone?” Cas stepped into the room. Big mistake.

Dean’s scent was rolling off of him now, and it was all Cas could do not to jump him and pin him to the bed, much less form complete or coherent sentences. Dean finally spotted his phone and flopped down on his bed, ignoring the notifications on the home screen and heading right for his contacts.

“Cas, just _go_.” Dean selected a contact and held the phone up to his ear.

“Who are you calling?” Cas was like a pup, standing in the door of the room, eyes wide staring down at Dean.

Dean ignored him as the phone rang on the other end. Possessed by some unfathomable force of nature, Cas bolted across the room in long strides and snatched the phone from Dean’s hand the moment the line picked up, Dean too startled to react in time.

“Hey!”

Cas ignored Dean’s protestations and pressed the phone to his ear as a man answered the phone.

“Heeey, baby,” the voice laughed. “It’s a bit early for you, isn’t it? Are we starting a new routine? My favorite omega slut need a good pounding in between heats?”

Cas stared, wide eyed and open mouthed, at Dean sitting on the bed, whose face was getting redder and redder by the moment. Cas couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

The sultry voice on the other end spoke again.

“…Dean?”

Cas dropped the phone like it was scalding his hand, it hitting the floor with a loud clatter.

Cas and Dean stared at it face up on the floor at his feet as the line stayed live for a moment before the call ended on the other end, the screen going dark.

“I… what?”

“Cas…” Dean was angry, now. Angry enough that maybe he hadn’t even _been_ angry before if this is what Cas had to compare it to. But he was raising his arms towards Cas like he was trying to calm a wild animal.

Cas didn’t understand. Who was that? Why was Dean calling him, and why did he know who Dean was?

“I don’t understand,” he said flatly. His heart was pounding in his ears.

“Cas, it’s none of your business, just give me my fucking phone,” Dean spat.

Cas pressed his foot over the screen and slid it out the door behind him.

“Cas!”

“Dean, I don’t understand”

Cas didn’t. An omega’s heat was sacred, often not shared with alphas outside of a mating, or at least far into courtship. They were times of vulnerability, times where the alpha would step in, make sure the omega was cared for and safe and sated and happy and…

“Dean you can go through this heat alone, like you always do. You don’t need to call him.” Him, whoever the fuck that was. Denial. Cas was starting the truth right in the face and wouldn’t let himself see it.

“No, I can’t ‘go through this heat alone,’ Cas,”

“It’s… it’s the drugs, its whatever he gave you that’s making you think this way” Cas was being completely unreasonable. He’d heard what that alpha had said, words, descriptions that didn’t make sense in the same sentence as Dean’s name. “But it’ll just be a normal heat Dean, it--”

“Yes, _exactly_ , Cas, and my ‘normal heats,’ Dean sat up and ripped off his shoes, and started stripping his outer layers. Cas did not stare. “are completely intolerable, ok? I need help. I’ve always needed help,” Why was he so flushed? Cas should do something to help him cool down. “It’s either this or take meds so strong that I’ll be infertile in a year” There was a familiar sort of resignation in his voice. What was Dean saying? Why was he being so confusing? Cas must be misunderstanding something.

“But… Every time I come back here, you’re…” realization was slowly starting to dawn, and Cas was angry now. “After every heat you’re _sick_ ,” the word curled on his tongue as he spat it out. “You’re sick and you’re tired… you haven’t eaten, you haven’t slept…”

“Cas, drop it.”

“They don’t even take care of you,” Cas breathed, eyes locking on Dean’s face. An omega in heat needed care, love, was a precious thing-- precious, like Dean all the time except more so, and he’d just been letting… whoever’d been helping hadn’t even…

“I’ll take what I can get, ok? Just give me my damn phone!” Dean stood from the bed and faced Cas, down to just his t-shirt and jeans. Sweat was dripping down Dean’s neck now and Cas wanted to drink, drink it all up.

“Dean--”

“You always left, ok? I didn’t have anyone else!”

As if it were possible for Cas to feel more shock in his body.

“What?”

Dean’s eyes hit the floor. “I… I didn’t--” 

Before Cas knew what he was doing he had Dean pressed up against him and his hand at the back of his head, wound in his hair, not kissing but holding him close, breathing into his mouth. Dean, for all his anger, went immediately pliant in his arms. They stayed like that, breathing one another’s air in short pants, until Cas finally spoke.

“Do you want me to stay?” he breathed, his lips brushing softly over Dean’s.

A shaky breath.

“Yes.”

Another.

“Dean… Dean I need you to be honest with me, ok? Don’t lie to me.” The hand not around Dean’s head was gripping his bicep. Their faces were so close. Cas drew him even closer.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered.

Dean’s eyes widened impossibly further. Shaky hands came up under them to rest on the alpha’s chest.

“I always wanted it to be you,” Dean said. They could hear each other’s’ heartbeats that seemed to be in sync. He could feel Cas’s hot breath puffing onto his face. Dean’s hands snaked around and wove themselves in Cas’s hair. “I always wanted you, I… please, Cas I _need_ you, please--”

Dean’s whispered confession was cut off my Cas smashing their lips together, immediately licking his way into Dean’s mouth. Cas moaned as Dean rolled his body against him, pressing them tightly together so only layers of fabric kept them apart. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s back and around Dean’s shoulders, cradling him as if he could shatter at any moment. Dean shuddered.

Cas pulled back for a moment to look Dean in the eyes.

“I’ll take care of you,” he whispered.

Dean believed him. Felt no fear, no resentment, nothing but _right_ as Cas walked him back and gently pushed him onto the bed, divesting him of his pants on the way down to the edge of the bed. Before Dean could process the movement Cas was on his knees in front of him, sinking his hands into his hair and kissing him within an inch of his life. Cas drug his mouth away from his as he nosed his way down his jaw, hands running up and down Dean’s sides and he pressed open mouthed kisses to his neck.

“I’ll take care of you, Dean” he promised between kisses. “I’ll make you feel good,”

Dean keened, and as much as he wanted Cas to kiss him like this, _exactly_ like this, forever, his heat was still building, tightening in his stomach as the need that his previous anger had masked began to rise. He gripped the front of Cas’s shirt in fistfuls.

“Cas…”

Cas shushed him gently, seeming to know exactly what he meant. He toyed at the hem of Dean’s shirt before lifting it over his head, pausing to admire only for a moment before continuing his exploration with his mouth. When he reached one of Dean’s nipples he circled it with his tongue briefly before biting down softly, causing Dean to jump and release a high pitched groan. Cas moaned deeply in his chest in response.

“Cas… Cas, please, I need…”

Cas tore his mouth away from Dean’s chest back to his lips, pressing in deeply before lifting Dean from under his arms back further onto the bed. Dean gasped at the show of strength, relishing in the thrill it sent down his spine. Dean’s back hit the mattress and Cas was over him a moment later before tearing himself away again. Dean whined.

“I’ll be right back, baby, right back, just wait…”

Dean could hear Cas plodding across the hall to his room before he returned not a minute later. In that brief time alone Dean had closed his eyes, arching his back and writhing on the mattress as the heat within him grew and grew.

He barely registered Cas pausing at the end of the mattress to stare. He heard another breathy moan and a mumbled “…fuck,” before he looked up to see Cas holding his own big, white down comforter in his arms. The one he knew Dean liked and was jealous of, the one that, if Dean played his cards right and swore not to spill on, he’d let him drag out into the living room for movie nights. Cas kneed his way onto the bed and eased a hand behind Dean to urge his back off the mattress as he fluffed the comforter that oozed his scent around and behind Dean before laying him back into a bed of clouds. A nest.

“There…” Cas whispered. Dean opened his eyes to see Cas staring down at him in wonder. “Are you comfortable?”

Dean nodded before pulling Cas down into another kiss. He dragged the alpha’s shirt over his head as Cas worked away at Dean’s jeans. Their hands were growing more desperate with each shed layer. Cas was frantically running his hands over every inch of Dean’s skin that he could reach, cataloging and committing it to memory, their lips never separating. With each touch and breathy moan Dean dissolved further into the mattress. Cas withrew briefly to discard his pants.

Cas’s hands landed on his hips and toyed with the waistband of his boxers before they stilled. Dean whined high in the back of his throat.

“Dean…” whispered against his lips. Was Cas saying something? Why was he talking? He always talked too much. “Dean, if you’re ever uncomfortable I want you to say something, ok?” Dean nodded frantically. Cas’s hand slid slowly over the front of his crotch and Dean released a moan before his hand traveled lower, past his balls to where his ass was leaking slick onto the bed. Cas breathed heavily into his mouth and pressed gently at the source as Dean released another needy groan.

“Is this what you want?” Cas whispered. He sounded unsure, in awe, as if despite all the material evidence he couldn’t be sure that this was happening, that Dean was letting him do this, _wanted_ him to do this.

“Yes,” Dean hissed. “Please, alpha, go inside me, I need it, _please_ ”

Cas pressed his forehead to Dean’s chest as he groaned, deep in his chest as if releasing a lungful of air that has resided there for years. He dragged Dean’s boxers down over his hips and flung them behind him, immediately wrapping a strong, thick hand around Dean’s length. Dean threw his head back and sucked in a breath. It was so good, it was exactly what he needed, it wasn’t enough, he needed more. The heat was building and building and he couldn’t ignore it any more, everything ached and he needed his alpha, needed _Cas._

“Cas… please. Please”

There would be time for more, later. More time over the next several days to explore every inch of one another’s bodies as Dean rode out his heat, but he needed this. Needed this ever since he’d polished off his drink at the bar and found the alpha of his dreams staring back at him as the heat built inside him, Cas, always Cas, who he’d wanted for so long and who was _here_ , now, but still it wasn’t what he needed, it was---

Dean was broken out of his revelry by Cas’s fingers probing at his entrance. Slick pooled around Cas’s long, lithe fingers and Dean heard him let out a shaky breath at the feeling.

“Yes, Cas, yes, please…”

Two fingers plunged into him, Dean’s heat opening up his body immediately. Any burn was erased directly after by the stretch, the pleasure, knowing this was Cas inside him, prying him open and prepping him for his cock. Cas who was pressed down tightly on top of him, whose scent enveloped every one of his senses.

Before long Dean was shifting his hips, fucking himself down and asking for more and Cas quickly obliged, filling him and stretching him in preparation. Cas was panting heavily into Dean’s mouth, who’d been so caught up in the pleasure of it all that he hadn’t even noticed Cas speaking.

“Dean… fuck… so warm, so tight, god Dean you’ll feel so good, I’ll make you feel so good Dean, my Dean, so beautiful…” his words whispered into his mouth in between Cas’s own breathy moans, Cas who hadn’t even been _touched_ and yet was seemingly as close to the edge as Dean was. Dean, realizing his selfishness, snuck an arm in between their clothed bodies and cupped Cas’s clothed erection, punching a loud, deep moan from him.

Cas quickly pulled out of his grasp and raised his torso from on top of Dean, leaving his fingers in place for Dean to continue fucking himself.

“Do I need a condom?” Cas blurted hurriedly. Dean ignored him, continuing to thrust himself downward on Cas’s fingers, desperate, so desperate, needed to be filled… Cas withdrew his fingers gently as Dean released a breathy whine, bracing himself on either side of Dean’s head, fingers digging into their nest.

“Dean, baby, do you have condoms for us?” Cas asked, softer this time, gazing down at Dean writhing mindlessly on the sheets as if he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Don’t-- don’t need, Cas, please…”

A growl built in the back of Cas’s throat as he ran his hands up Dean’s sides.

“Are you sure?”

“ _Yes_ , yes, I’m clean, tested, birth control, Cas just---”

Cas shushed him again, leaning over him to kiss him gently as Dean devoured his mouth.

“Shh, I’ll take care of you, I told you,”

Cas drew back and Dean went to turn over, finally finally getting what he wanted before a gentle hand at his hip stopped him, kept him on his back.

“I wanna see you, let me see you,” Cas whispered.

Cas leaned up and pulled down his boxers, and now it was Dean’s turn to gaze in wonder. Cas’s runner’s body and strong shoulders, strong thighs… so enamored with the glory of the alpha in front of him that he didn’t even register Cas shaking as he lowered himself back over Dean, in between Dean’s legs that slid open easily for Cas to lay between. They were halfway kissing, half panting into one another, Dean’s hands on either side of Cas’s face as they both took in shaky breaths as Cas drug the head of his cock over Dean’s hole, hesitated only a moment longer before slowly pushing inside.

Dean gasped, dug his fingers into Cas’s hair as he bottomed out, Cas holding his breath as he slid in easily in one long stroke before his hips were against Dean’s ass.

He buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and breathed him in as Dean marveled, reveled in the stretch, the fullness, that Cas was here and he hadn’t left, that they were as close as possible without a knot and still Dean wanted him closer.

“Dean…” Cas muttered into his shoulder, a little lost. “So tight, so good, fuck, _Dean_ ,”

Dean’s hands moved to either side of Cas’s face as he pulled him down for a passionate kiss, scooting his hips down gently to tell Cas that he was ready for him to move because he couldn’t even _speak_ anymore Cas felt so good and right inside of him.

Cas gave a few shallow, experimental thrusts at first, watching Dean’s face carefully for any signs of discomfort before he began to surrender to his instincts, picking up speed and power as Dean clung to him for dear life, each thrust punching a low sound from the back of his throat. Cas thrust in at a few different angles before he found the spot that made Dean actually cry out, loud, arching his back off the bed and Cas, always a fast learner, hammered in as he drove them both closer and closer to the edge.

Dean was slowly inching up the mattress, further into their makeshift nest with every stroke, his body melting into hot water as every ache ceased and Cas filled every emptiness inside of him, fucked him full of his love. Cas’s breathy moans filled his ears and his cock bobbed between them and Cas drove home into his sweet spot again and again.

Dean’s hysteria was growing, barely aware that at some point he’d began chanting Cas’s name like a prayer with every thrust, letting out a broken gasp and a full-body jerk when he felt Cas’s knot catch at his rim.

Cas caught his reaction and stilled, momentarily, inching back from Dean’s face to look at him, his voice husky and low with lust. His pupils were so wide his blue eyes were almost black.

“Dean… do you want--” he cut himself off with a strangled moan of surprise when he felt Dean’s hands reach around behind him and cup his ass, pulling him in deeper, his knot pressing against his entrance.

“Yes, yes, alpha, please, Cas… I need it, I need--” Dean didn’t bother to finish as Cas wrapped his arms around his shoulders and began thrusting again, impossibly deeper and harder, pulling Dean down onto him. His hips canted up, his legs bent in the air and flailing in sync with each pound inside of him. Dean was no longer breathing, offering only breathy sobs as his hands dug into the nest on either side of him, Cas over him, around him, in him, they were here, together, Cas was his.

Cas snapped his hips forward and Dean came with a sob. His vision whited out and his teeth clenched and just when he thought it was over Cas cried out and buried his knot deep inside him and Dean kept coming, spurting long white over their stomachs and his thoughts were nothing but a chant of Cas’s name.

When his brain restarted its functioning Cas was lying over him, face buried in his neck and a hand petting his hair.

“Oh Dean, my Dean,” Cas mumbled into his skin. “So good for me… so good,” Dean pretended not to glow at the praise and, disappointed that he’d been too far gone to revel in Cas’s orgasm, gave a strong squeeze around him. Cas gasped heavily into his neck before releasing another groan and Dean felt another load of cum wash inside him. He smirked.

Cas huffed a laughed and pulled back to look at Dean’s face, brushing sweaty hair off his forehead.

“You ok?”

Dean nodded, tiredness from the evening’s waves of emotions and great sex seeping into his bones as his eyes started to droop. Cas pressed a brief kiss to his lips before gently rolling them onto their sides.

“Sleep, beautiful.”

Dean drifted off to Cas’s hands carding gently through his hair as he avoided the question in the back of his mind as to what things would be like when his heat was over.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas had entered an entirely new state of mind where nothing mattered except Dean-- Dean’s health, his happiness, how beautiful he looked spread out beneath him and how good it felt to be inside him. It was a mindset both elevated far above every day experience and simultaneously baser, where he relied only on his instincts and, despite the newness of their situation, everything felt already comfortable and familiar.

Cas took care of everything. After his knot went down he slipped out of Dean and wrapped him in their nest and plodded out to their shared kitchen. He texted both Sam and Charlie, letting them know what had happened at the bar and that Dean was in heat, but that he was ok. He emailed the bar and gave the name of the waitress who knew the whole story, asking them to call him in a few days. He called off of work and did the same for Dean, cancelled any plans they had for the weekend.

He stared at their mostly bare cupboards trying to think of what to feed Dean before he settled on pulling out all the fruit they had remaining in the home (Castiel’s usually, not Dean’s, but Dean needed healthy sugars) and assembled it all on a plate in bite size pieces. He was the middle of the night, but he didn’t know when Dean would wake next so he began brewing some coffee, knowing Dean would want it when he woke up.

He didn’t have to wait long. Before the coffee was even finished he heard rustling coming from Dean’s bedroom and a low-pitched whine. Cas picked up the food and some bottles of water before heading in to see Dean wrapped in the sheets of their nest, a bright pink flush blooming on his chest. Cas’s brain short-circuited at the sight.

“…Cas?” Dean sat up, the sheets tangled between his legs and pulled half-way up his torso, looking up at Cas in the doorway, his eyes wide.

Cas swiftly placed the food on his nightstand and crawled in with Dean; Dean hesitated only a moment before wrapping himself around him and holding him close, pressing soft, sleepy kisses to his mouth. Cas’s voice shook as he spoke. Dean was so warm.

“Hi, baby” he wrapped his big hands around Dean’s waist. So soft, so warm, god he was so fucking pretty.

“…didn’t know if you’d still be here,” Dean mumbled into his neck.

“Of course, my omega. I’m not going anywhere,” he felt Dean relax more against him at his words as he began to breathe heavily.

“Come on,” Cas said, gently pulling himself out of Dean’s grasp, “You need to eat.”

Dean didn’t even glance at the food before he was wrapped around Castiel again, pulling him down against him in the sheets.

“I’m not hungry.”

Maybe they could eat later.

Dean dragged Cas under the sheets as Cas took a bit more time to explore Dean’s body-- his narrow hips, his flat but soft stomach, his thin bow legs, his cock. Each item he explored with adoration, mapping out the differences in he and Dean’s bodies all while Dean unwound into a writing mess beneath him.

He was licking a stripe up Dean’s cock when Dean grabbed him by the hair and flipped them, straddling him before nosing his way down his body. Cas threw his head back as Dean took his cock into his mouth without warning, sinking down and back up before Cas, too, was desperate.

Dean planted a parting kiss to the top of his dick before he crawled his way back up Cas’s body, grinding down and letting his slick rub against Castiel’s spit slick dick as Cas released a guttural moan from deep in his chest.

He barely had time to think before Dean was pressing a hand to his chest for leverage and sinking down onto his cock. He hadn’t prepped, Cas should be worried, but his brain had emptied except for an internal chant of _tight tight tight Dean tight fuck_ as he grabbed his hips with bruising force and helped him control his descent until he was fully seated, both of them releasing load moans at the feeling.

Even with no prep, Dean seemed perfectly happy, and only gave himself a moment before planting his hands on Cas’s broad chest and raising himself up and back down forcefully.

Dean really hadn’t been kidding about bad heats. Normally a knot would keep need sustained for at least a couple of hours in between waves, but here he was, as desperate as the first time with no signs of relief. That, Cas thought with pride, he could give to him.

Even as Cas lost his own mind with Dean sinking up and down on top of him, squeezing at the top of each bounce in all the right places, Castiel strengthened his grip on Dean’s hips and planted his feet on the bed, snapping his own hips up to meet Dean’s as he drove himself as deep inside as he could possibly go.

If Castiel was helplessly in love with Dean before, fuck if he was ever able to see him as anything but a god in human form again. Here, in the low light, riding his cock, desperate for more as Cas gave him everything, Dean was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He wanted to commit this image, this feeling, to memory, to revisit it at any time of his life when things seemed difficult to remind himself that this, _this_ , was what life was entirely worth living for. For Dean. His beautiful omega, wrapped around his cock so tight it was sucking him back inside with every thrust, the love of his life, more gorgeous now than ever as Cas couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe outside of the effort it took to give Dean pleasure. He’d give him anything. He’d give him everything.

Dean threw his head back and came all over Castiel with a moan and Cas followed soon after, digging his heels into the bed and locking his knot deep inside of Dean as he released a broken gasp of Dean’s name. As Dean came down from his high he let out a wrecked sound, exhausted, and Cas pushed himself up to a sitting position and caught him before he could fall forward, settling him in his lap as they were still locked together, wrapping his hands around his back.

“Beautiful… beautiful,” Cas whispered into his skin. Dean didn’t notice.

While Dean was sated and sleepy with Cas’s knot tucked neatly inside of him, Cas reached over to his nightstand and gently fed him by hand, helping him take sips of water in between bites. With a knot inside of him, Dean’s flush looked less feverish and more sun-kissed, his pink lips slick from hydration and the fruit Cas pushed into his mouth that Dean guzzled off of his fingers. Even with his knot inside him, Cas was transfixed every time Dean’s tongue licked out of his mouth across the bite Cas held out for him, his breath catching every time he got a lick on the bottom of one of his fingers. Beautiful.

The next three days were, inarguably, the best of Castiel’s life.

He fed Dean. He bathed him. He fucked him with reckless abandon. By the end of the third day he was missing the sallow thinness that usually defined the end of his heats, instead replaced with a healthy glow.

They fucked on just about every surface in their apartment, Dean sleepily nesting throughout whenever he was briefly sated between knots. Dean’s bed. The couch. The kitchen counter. Dean had progressively begun to navigate towards Cas’s room, replacing the comforter and piling his clothes all around him on the bed, rolling around in Cas’s scent as they fucked.

There was a stereotype that omegas were basically brain dead during their heats that Cas knew to be false, and the same was true in Dean’s case as well. He was coherent, obviously so, but he wasn’t particularly talkative either. The cloud hanging over their heads, namely-- what would things be like between them when Dean’s heat was over-- that Cas so desperately wanted to discuss, seemed wrong to bring up, wrong to bring the harsh light of reality back to the precious fantasy they’d begun to live in. Cas didn’t want to trouble Dean with the future, and Dean didn’t seem concerned.

Still, there was a part of Cas, a part growing larger by the day, that hoped deep within him that maybe this meant things had changed between them. That maybe the way Dean _wasn’t_ troubled, the way he clung tight to Cas as they fucked and kissed him desperately, meant that they could stay like this once Dean’s heat was over. That they’d be together.

At the very least, Cas did everything in his power to prove himself to Dean. He’d prove he was a good friend, a good alpha who would be there for every heat following even if Dean didn’t want him in between, where he’d never have to call anyone else to help.

It was these thoughts swirling around in the back of Cas’s head as he wrung Dean’s second consecutive orgasm from him with just his fingers and his mouth, desperate to show how good he could be as he reduced Dean to a puddle of need before giving him exactly what he needed how he needed it.

On the morning of the fourth day Cas had left Dean asleep in their nest they’d built in Cas’s room and was starting on breakfast when Dean plodded into the kitchen in a pair of boxers, the first thing he’d worn in days. Seeing clothes on him seemed hilariously out of place now, but he smiled as Dean rubbed his eyes and offered a small smile of his own.

“Good morning,” Cas greeted, grinning from ear to ear.

“Good morning,” Dean mumbled in response, then looked around the kitchen. “Is there coffee?”

Cas gestured for Dean to sit while he poured him a cup. Dean took it with a small smile. Now that Cas looked closer, he could see that Dean’s eyes shone a little less brightly, that his flush was less pronounced than it had been the days prior. His scent was the same, but at this point their mingled scents were so pervasive in their apartment that he probably wouldn’t be able to notice any changes anyway.

A tight ball of worry curled up at the base of Cas’s chest. It was ending. What now?

“How are you feeling?”

Dean took a long sip before responding. “Ok. I think it’s starting to break but ah… not quite yet.”

Cas nodded but said nothing before snapping himself out of his own worries. Dean just said it wasn’t over yet. Dean still needed him. Cas could still be useful.

“Do you need anything? A shower? More coffee? I can make breakfast,” Cas started looking around the kitchen for something to do. They were almost out of food.

“No… just, um…”

Cas looked up at him from where he’d been bent over into their back cupboards, up at Dean who had his gaze directly into his coffee cup.

“Just, ah… you. If you wanted,” Dean shifted in his seat.

Cas grinned again. He still wanted him.

“Of course.”

He offered Dean a hand, who after a moment’s pause took it with a huffed laugh before allowing Cas to lead them back to his bedroom. Dean looked around dazedly at the size and scope of their nest before Cas gently lowered him down onto the bed. Dean let out a long breath as Cas wrapped his hands around the back of his neck and kissed him deeply.

“You’re really tense, Dean,” Cas breathed against his cheek after he pulled away. “…Can I?”

Dean hesitated, but eventually rolled over, letting Cas begin working his strong hands over his muscles. There was something curling in the base of Dean’s belly, something he really didn’t want to look at but that was steadily growing, but god if his heat still wasn’t bad enough that he needed Cas’s hands on him, his scent surrounding him on every side. Cas straddled his hips as he worked his fingers in. Dean let out a long groan as Cas massaged the muscles on his back, sore from the last several days of use.

“Is this ok?” he could hear the worry in Cas’s voice. But this wasn’t Cas’s problem.

Dean nodded into the pillow as Cas continued working, digging his strong hands into his skin, his movements thoughtful and intentional. As Cas worked down his back towards his hips he could smell the beginnings of alpha arousal in the air, but Cas did nothing to indicate it. Still, Dean was in heat, even if he was making his way towards the end, and he needed it, needed it more than he needed to look at whatever was working its way around his chest told him that it was maybe not a good idea.

Dean released a breathy moan as he canted his hips up into Cas’s hands, pushing his ass into Cas’s crotch where he straddled him. Cas let out a small sound of surprise that quickly melted into a groan at the sensation. So Dean did it again, encouraging him to move things forward.

Cas didn’t know what was going on inside Dean’s head, didn’t know the details. Dean didn’t want him to know, either. He wanted him inside of him, to have him grind away at whatever was eating him and take him back to the bliss he’d known only a few hours ago. 

Cas groaned and draped himself over Dean’s back, pressing up against him and rocking his hips against Dean’s ass, his dick already hard. Dean keened into the touch, pushing back against him earning a low growl from Cas. Cas kissed at the back of his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin along Dean’s hairline and the back of his ear.

“You want it, baby?” Cas breathed.

“Yes, alpha,”

Cas purred and ran his hands down Dean’s sides, slipping his hands under the hem of Dean’s boxers and pulling them off as he kissed his way down his back. Dean crossed his arms and buried his face in his elbow, leaning up again into Cas’s touch. He felt Cas step away to discard his own clothes before he was pressed up against him again, Cas’s rock hard cock rubbing against his ass. The tip brushed up against his entrances and Dean sucked in a breath.

“Is this what you want, beautiful?” Cas whispered, his voice low and rough.

Dean nodded against the pillows, trying to push his ass back to meet him before Cas pulled away gently. Cas kissed at the back of his head, running a hand down his arm to grasp one of his hands.

“Use your words, baby.”

Dean was grateful that their position allowed Dean to hide his face so Cas couldn’t see the hot blush of shame that bloomed on his cheeks as he begged before he could even stop to think.

“Yes, Cas, please, please--” Dean cut himself off with a shuddered gasp as Cas pressed slowly inside of him, easily now after being opened for so many days. Dean exhaled as he bottomed out as Cas buried his face in his neck, letting out a low groan. Cas’s hand gripped his tighter.

“ _Dean_ …”

Dean pushed his ass up and back, encouraging Cas to move, and Cas slipped his other hand around Deans middle and pulled Dean flush against him, pulling him impossibly closer, deeper. He huffed out a breath as he started to move, taking his time now that Dean was less frantic, long, languid strokes punctuated with a grind against his ass every time he entered fully. Cas was moaning softly under his breath with every thrust, pressing kisses to the back of Dean’s neck as he held his hand.

Dean tried desperately to enjoy it, to enjoy Cas scratching the itch that was still deep inside him, but it was fading now, fading and being quickly replaced with the cold, hard reality of the weekend’s activities.

Dean had been fucked plenty before. He wasn’t ashamed of what he needed to do to get through his heats; he knew it was unconventional, that most people would look down on him if they knew, but he understood the reality of his biology better than people gave him credit for, knew that every few months he made the choice that made the most sense for him. He had a few alphas that he cycled between, some better than others, but all of whom were some flavor the same. Dean called, they fucked like rabbits for a few days so Dean wouldn’t get sick and die, and then they left. It was never an arrangement that either took any issue with. And if Dean was hopelessly obsessed with his shy, alpha roommate, who cared? Cas wasn’t interested anyways; he made that perfectly obvious by the way he fled the apartment as soon as Dean’s heat started to show. And as much as he wanted him to stay, deep down he was grateful-- that Cas wouldn’t have to see him like this, wouldn’t have to know what he did and who he did it with to get by. He could pretend he was a good, wholesome omega saving his heats for his mate who definitely wouldn’t be Cas, because Cas didn’t want him, but someone respectable who did _not_ have dark hair and a big, strange smile and an obsession with bees. 

But _now_ … now Cas knew. Knew not only what Dean had been doing but knew what his heats were like, how terrifically unbearable and humiliating, turning Dean into some kind of animal that needed to fuck or die. He knew how he’d beg for it-- hell, he’d been forced to beg only minutes ago against his better judgement.

Some of those things that the other alphas said while they fucked him weren’t necessarily the nicest things, but Dean couldn’t deny that they were a little bit true. Whore, cockslut… they weren’t incorrect descriptions of how he acted in his heats. And Dean didn’t care, he really didn’t. His arrangements worked so well because he didn’t care what these alphas thought of him because he thought so little of them. What’s a little disrespect to go around when it’s a matter of survival? Dean could cope, he always had.

But Cas. _Cas_. Cas, his best friend, his roommate, the object of his romantic overtures fallen of deaf ears for years now-- now Cas was the one pressed up against him fucking him into the mattress. Except he wasn’t even doing that. He was pressing gently into him, holding his hand and kissing him, whispering things into his ear that Dean had never heard before, would never hear again because he had fucked up.

“Dean… baby… oh my omega, my beautiful Dean, _god_ ” Sweet nothings whispered in his ear as Cas thrust into him, and Dean buried his head deeper into Cas’s bed so he wouldn’t notice the tears starting to fall from his face. This wasn’t fucking, certainly not fucking for survival. This was making love, and he was doing it with _Cas_.

God this was bad. He’d fucked up. He’d fucked up guilting Cas into staying, knowingly playing into his alpha hormones to keep him there, to help him. He’d used him, his best friend, the same way he’d used all those other alphas, and as soon as Dean stopped hypnotizing him with his heat pheromones he’d wake up and realize what Dean had done and hate him for it. And worse, he’d see him how those other alphas saw him: slut, whore, needy little bitch, all of which were true but had never been true to Cas. Except now they would be, Dean had made sure of that.

“God, Dean you feel so good-- so good, _Dean_ ,” Cas whispered brokenly. Dean was crying so much he was starting to shake, so lost in his thoughts that Cas’s dick in his ass was barely registering to him anymore, and Cas must have felt because he held Dean even closer, picked up his pace, thinking he was close.

“Are you gonna come for me, baby?” he whispered, hot into his ear. Dean could feel him smile on the back of his neck.

He needed to get out of here. He needed to stop and to leave before Cas realized, before his knot swelled and tied them together so he’d only have more time to start hating him, seeing him as the stupid, manipulative omega bitch he was.

When he finally spoke, his voice was small.

“Stop. Stop.”

It had barely been a whisper, but Cas had heard. Of course he had. His movements stopped abruptly as Cas froze, his breathing heavy in Dean’s ear.

Cas’s body tense above him, there was a moment of stillness before Cas spoke.

“Dean,” he breathed. “Dean, are you ok?”

“I… Get off. Please get off.”

There was a beat, punctuated by the silence save for Cas’s heavy breathing, where he absorbed Dean’s words, before pulling out and scrambling off of him. Dean pushed himself up and over to the side of the bed while Cas sat back on his heels, eyes wide. _Just get out. Go to your room. Stop bothering him, leave him alone. He won’t want to look at you anymore_.

“Dean?” His voice was thick with concern and the beginnings of panic. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

“I’m sorry, I…” Dean stood, wiping the tears still running down his face. Cas’s face dropped even further.

“Dean? What is it? What wrong? Did…” Cas’s voice shook, now. “Did I hurt you?”

“No! No, I just…” wiping his face furiously and heading for the door. “God, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Dean, wait, _please_ wait!” Cas stood, reaching for Dean who was already out the door. Cas reached blindly for a pair of boxers off the floor and pulled them on, following him across the hall only to have the door to Dean’s room shut in his face.

“Dean?” he called through the door, resting his hands on it but afraid to turn the handle. “Dean please talk to me, please tell me what’s wrong.” Cas’s panic was rising, he could feel his scent starting to sour with distress. _What did he do? God, what did he do?_

“I’m fine, Cas, please just… just go away,” he could hear the tears in Dean’s voice. He was still crying.

“Dean… Dean please,” his voice cracked as tears formed in his own eyes. “Just… just talk to me, tell me you’re alright.”

There was a pause from behind the door before he heard Dean’s shaky intake of breath before he spoke quietly. He sounded… defeated.

“I’m fine, Cas. I just, um…” his voice cracked. “I think I’m just gonna call Charlie, ok?”

“Dean, _please,_ I-- “ He cut himself off with a tearful huff, resting his forehead against the door.

What had happened? It was so good. Dean was so good, he was happy, they were happy. He’d taken care of him, he thought. What had he done wrong? Should… should he not have… Should he not have stayed? Had he taken advantage of him? Dean, beautiful Dean, crying now alone in his room because of Cas, who had begged Cas to stay, to touch him. Had he not wanted it? The thoughts made his hands shake as tears slipped down his face.

“Dean, please open the door,” he begged quietly. Dean didn’t answer.

He jerked back from the door, a hand over his mouth as more tears fell. What had he done? Had Dean, coming down from his heat, come to his senses to be disgusted by him? Disgusted by his awkwardness, his poor way with words, the absolute ferocity of his obsession with him, disgusted by his cock, his scent, the way he’d clung to Dean in desperation and love and apparently failed to notice that Dean was hating every moment of it? Did he hate him? Was he angry? Or had Cas hurt him? Gone too far, fucked too hard… had Dean lied in the moment about needing someone for his heats and Cas had fallen for it, let his needy omega make him forget what Cas knew too be true, that Dean didn’t want him, all too eager to get his hands on Dean’s skin, his tongue in his mouth?

Cas’s thoughts ran frantically through his head and he paced dumbly back and forth through the hallway between his and Dean’s room, running his hands through his hair.

He’d had Dean the way he always wanted him, and now he wouldn’t have him at all.

He was back at Dean’s door again before he registered the action.

“Dean, Dean please I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please don’t hate me,” he begged, pressing his hands into either side of the frame. “Dean, please I only wanted to help, just… just tell me what I did wrong and I can fix it. Dean, please, I’ll fix it if you’ll just talk to me, _please_ ”

“Cas, please just go away,” his broken voice replied, small. Castiel felt his heart break into a million pieces. But he would fix it. He _had_ to fix it.

“ _Dean_ , please, I--- “

His cries were broken off by the turning of a key in the lock of the front door, Charlie letting herself in with the spare key he knew she had. She’d expected Dean to be alone. They lived in the same building, but whatever Dean had texted her had gotten her here fast.

They both froze. Her eyes widened when she found Cas, plastered nearly naked to Dean’s bedroom door, their whole apartment wreaking of sex and desperation, so strong that even her beta nose could pick it up easily.

Charlie was easy-going, laid-back. He never saw her get heated about anything other than Star Wars arguments, her calm and cheerful demeanor one of her most defining traits.

But now, she looked ready to kill.

“What did you do?” she hissed.

Cas raised his hands and backed away from Dean’s door.

“I can explain.”

“Castiel, what the fuck did you do?” her voice rising.

“Charlie, it isn’t what it looks like, ok?” At least, God, he hoped it wasn’t. Dean wasn’t talking to him. Charlie’s rage could very well be justified. He’d welcome her killing him if that was the truth. Cas took more shaky steps away from their bedrooms and out into the living room, his hands still raised.

“You said he got drugged.”

“He did.”

“You said he went into heat.”  
  
“He did.”

“Then _why_ are you here, Castiel?” Her eyes bore into him.

“Because… because he asked me to stay.”

Charlie’s face went blank.

“He…” Cas ran his hands through his hair again, sticking up at all angles now from the sex and his worry. “He said he needed help through his heats.” The look on Charlie’s face meant she was not surprised by this information, but was maybe surprised that Cas knew. “He tried to go back to the man at the bar who had drugged him, he tried to call…” He felt a growl rising in his throat and stopped, his eyes dropping to the floor. “He asked me to stay, Charlie. I said I’d take care of him. He… he said he needed me, I thought that we might…”

He took his eyes off the floor and looked up at her, shock plain on her face. Her eyes darted towards Dean’s closed door, worry etched in behind disbelief. God, what had he done?

“Okaaay… So if that’s the case, why am I getting ‘POST HEAT SOS’ text messages from him?” she asked, her eyes still trained on Dean’s door. “What happened?”

“I don’t _know_ , he---” Castiel caught himself speaking grandly with his hands. Dean always picked on him for that. Would Dean ever pick on him about anything ever again? He rested his hands on the top of his head. “Everything was fine, it was good. I… I took care of him and he was healthy, and…” his eyes turned dreamy at the memory as tears streamed down his face again and his voice broke. “Charlie it was beautiful, he… it was so beautiful and I thought it was good and… his heat started to break earlier this morning, but he still wanted to… and so we were in the middle of it when he just asked me to stop, told me to get off, I… Charlie I don’t know what I did.”

He brought his eyes to hers again, pleading for an explanation and begging for an apology all at once. Her face was still deceptively blank, her eyes now trained on Castiel’s face.

“Charlie, I don’t know what I did. I thought I was doing the right thing. He won’t talk to me, I don’t know if he’s ok, I don’t know if I hurt him”

“Ok, easy cowboy,” Charlie said, reacting to the clear panic rising in his voice. “I’m sure he’s fine,” her eyes drifting to Dean’s door again. “I might have some idea of what’s going on, but… did you say anything to him? This last time? Anything that might have set him off?”

“No, I…” Cas felt a blush rising on his cheeks, and he looked at the floor again. “Nothing that I… hadn’t been saying to him throughout the weekend.”

Charlie hummed and bit at a fingernail, clearly thinking over her options.

“Look, Cas. If what you’re saying is true then I don’t think I need to kick your ass, but I think you should leave.”

“But… no, I---”

“I need to talk to Dean, ok? Figure out whatever’s going on, and I know he’s not gonna do it with you here”

“Charlie I can’t leave,” he begged. “I don’t know if he’s hurt, if he’s--”

Charlie interrupted him again. “Cas, I can assure you that if he is hurt you will be hearing from me,” she jabbed a finger at his naked chest. “But just let me talk to him. Put some damn clothes on and go for a walk, clear your head, and I will text you when you can come back.”

“Charlie, _please_ , I---”

“ _Out_ , Novak, or I _will_ be kicking your ass”

There was nothing Castiel wanted less than to leave Dean right now, but after recent events he probably shouldn’t trust his instincts. He didn’t know what was best for Dean, that much was obvious. Charlie obviously did. With a pained huff he turned on his heels back to his room, haphazardly throwing on whatever clothes he picked up off the floor, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He grabbed his backpack and flung it over his shoulder.

“Jesus” Charlie breathed from outside the door. He hadn’t heard her follow him, but her eyes were now scanning the room where they’d spent the last four days, the nest that they had built sprawling across the room. Cas hung his head, whether in shame or to hide the new flow of tears, he didn’t know, and brushed angrily past Charlie and made his way towards the door. He paused with his hand on the handle when he heard the door to Dean’s room open, looking back over his shoulder.

“Oh, honey…” he heard Charlie croon, and Dean’s sobs followed shortly after.

He ran out the front door.


End file.
